On becoming the me I was meant to be..

Life is a journey of self-discovery.

I've spent twenty-seven of my twenty-eight years living to meet other's expectations of me. I have completely disregarded myself and it's taken me this long to recognise how unfair that is.

Time is of the essence. Life is fleeting. Live for today. To thine ownself be true.

I wanted so badly to be what they wanted me to be, not for my own sake but for theirs. A little bit at a time, I've discovered that being myself may shock and disappoint some people, the truth of it all hasn't actually killed anyone. I've gained strength from that knowledge.- Literally, (X) didn't give my grandmother a massive coronary, maybe (Y) won't either. Here's hoping.

In being honest with myself, with the world, I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm actually pretty radical.. And that's pretty frowned on down here, in Georgia.

First off, I'm a Pagan. You know what that means. I'm going to Hell. And there's no shortage of people willing to tell me so. The truth is, I tried to be Christian. It simply didn't resonate for me. Coming to Paganism at fifteen was like coming home.- And that was the first attempt at not killing anyone with shock or disappointment. It didn't make my life any easier but it didn't end anyone else's either.

Secondly, I'm a hippy mama. Some of it's sort of traditional hippy stuff like I like The Beatles. I'm all about peace, love, and good times. (I don't, have never, never mean to experiment with recreational drugs. Let's get that straight now.) I'm a cloth-diapering, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, extended-breastfeeding, green-living, homeschooling hippy mama. Crunchy to the core. It's gaining popularity these days but there are still plenty (especially around here) who have no issue making fun of you for it.

Thirdly, I'm a lesbian. Who denied the never-ending attraction to women for most of her life. Who managed to marry a real jerk of a man and sire four kids before finally coming to terms with the fact that I love women. So now, here I am, raising my four kids with the most amazing woman every placed on this earth. I'm so crazy in love with her!

So... maybe it's only three (major) things that I've accepted about myself. (There have been other countless simple things like the need to take scalding hot showers twice a day. They make life better but it's not earth shattering, kill you with the shock type stuff.) But the truth is, those three things have rid my life of negativity almost entirely. Whereas I used to be completely bogged down by my own frustration, depression, and anger (to the point of rage), now those feelings... are nearly non-existent. Now, when they do arise, I'm not overwhelmed by them and they seem to fly right on by.

But the point of this blog (My older readers will remember it as POB or Point of Blog) is to let you know that I'm back... and I'm better than ever. That I mean to start writing again and that I mean for it to be meaningful. That I want to take the overflow of positivity and spread it out all around me. So yeah. Look forward to future posts of happiness and prosperity.

Much love and brightest blessings.